After various trial and error, not to mention irritation, I have determined that this is the way. It's what I did in the dark ages back in the day (with a Pentium 3 that had enough hardware acceleration to play DVD's!) and it's what I do once more. By hook or by crook, one way or another you're guaranteed to be able to retain complete control over a PC even if that ultimately means you have to install some flavor of Linux on the fucking thing.

You can get a perfectly capable media center PC for very little money if you don't need it to be able to run AAA games, which in my case I don't. Even the various nanocomputer boards like one of the beefier Raspberry Pi's or any of its myriad competitors can do the job these days, fit in a tiny enclosure, make no noise, and consume very little power.

Fuck all the Chromecasts, Fire sticks, Roku boxes, Apple TV's, and other sundry and bullshit devices of the world.