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ELI5 why is anarchy not "the guy with the bigger stick" making the rules?
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That is a misconception. Anarchism is a equal distribution of power among all participants. This will not change "naturally". It can be changed by either efforts from within to establish a single individual or group as a ruler over the rest, or by outside forces. Neither I would classify as happening just naturally.
It is natural. Any particular individual's actions are not natural - but the fact that, amongst a large, diverse group of people, there will be someone who would try to establish themselves or their group as rulers - is just a statistical property. So any anarchic system needs a mechanism to counter that.
There is a lot of confusion around anarchism, because it is a negative description: It's a collective without leader, without governing institutions. It doesn't say much about how this collective organizes instead. So you could call the chaotic state after a government coup Anarchy. But that isn't what anarchists are talking about and I don't think that is what OP meant either.
Anarchy as a deliberate system is when a group of people decides to work or live together without selecting a leader or any other form of government, instead resolving decisions that affect everyone together. In that sense it is not an interim state, a leadership-vacuum just waiting to be filled. Although of course Anarchy can transition into another system by various means, but so can every other system as well.