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How do I cope with my father hating me?
(lemm.ee)
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this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2023
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Not everyone can afford a therapist. Even people with universal healthcare may be having problems accessing therapy.
That does not make it a lazy comment. If someone asks what to do about being hungry the correc anwser is to eat. The fact that they cannot afford to buy food does not change anything about the fundamental truth that the only way to still hunger is to eat.
OP made it clear, that this has followed him for decades. It is highly unlikely, that someone can just offer him some silver bullet advice here, that solves his problem without doing the emotional work. And doing the emotional work in such a situation is best done with a professional person that has no personal stakes in the whole situation.
If OP will not find a therapist within a month it will not get better by waiting another year on trying random advice from the internet. The sooner he looks for a therapist the sooner help becomes available.
You see, you come close to getting it in your first paragraph.
Telling someone who's hungry and can't afford food - just eat.
Don't you see how callous that is? If a friend came to you and asked to talk would you just shout "speak to a therapist"?
It's lazy because it's one word and obvious. It's callous because it makes no attempt to help the person.
The solution to hunger remains to eat. The question how to procure food is then the follow up. But OP didnt ask that. He asked how to still the hunger.
OP hasn't indicated that therapy is out of the question or unobtainable. Given that, the suggestion is still valid.
Also, when it comes to issues that are firmly in therapist territory, bad advice from online strangers can absolutely make things worse than if they didn't ask at all.
Letting someone know that this is therapy territory is at least a good indication to maybe take other comments here with a fine heap of salt
Please just stop arguing with me and accept that I'm right and you're wrong.
Thank you in advance.