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Some days are better than others
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
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You can't compare yourself to others.
Live the life you have as you are, not the life of others as you will never be.
Everyone else seems to compare me to others. Not comparing myself to others seems foolish if I want to do things like have a job.
People that do it, usually do it because they themselves being compared to others (by their own or by others), so they don't know another way.
If it works for you, go ahead, but if it won't, remember you can do it your way, even though it might be different than others.
In my opinion, having a job is not something that is done because others do it, but it's done because you want to do it. But if you don't want to do it, change to something you'd want to do.
"Doing things" is part of the human core, so you have it in your core, regardless of others. "Job" is just getting paid for "Doing things".
Some of them do it because it's been bullied into them. My daughter, who used to be very independent (and still is in some ways thankfully), had to be taken out of her middle school because of the bullying and she is constantly asking if it's weird that she does this or that and I have to keep reassuring her that it doesn't matter if it's weird as long as it makes her happy and even though kids will treat her like shit now, when she's an adult, most people won't care. The only people who will care are the ones who never grew up.
But yeah, she's become someone who compares herself to others. Because she's scared about what they will do to her because she's different.
She's actually starting to dress how she wants to dress again instead of trying to look neutral. It's terrific.
I generally don't do things unless I have to.
No hobbies? Interests?
I play Destiny 2. I'm a shell of a person.
Eyes up guardian.
Don't let others dictate how your life will go. I was actually going through a communications training on LinkedIn learning for work yesterday, and the instructor says something very interesting. When it comes to feedback, you have to know whose feedback you care about. She suggested you take criticism from only two people/groups:
In other words, fuck unsolicited feedback (ironically, like this comment!). When it comes to being competitive in the job market, you do need to know somewhat how you "measure up", but that isn't an accurate valuation of you, as a person.
Edit: (sorry, had to leave mid thought)
I want to use an analogy from Destiny 2 here. Our clan does a lot of raids, and I've gotten a handful of raid seals. The clan has grown a lot, so we've regularly been taking people on their first runs. They're complete blueberries, but they're usually really eager to learn. When we look at damage numbers at a boss, we don't make a big deal out of people having low damage. Maybe they had just a million compared to my 4 million, but it's still significant -- and with how often I whiff shots and supers, I'm sometimes right there by them.
We never require someone to play a particular class, and we'll offer recommendations on element but we won't force them. They could be blasting with Arc Titan thundercrash without cuirass, while there's a cracked damage combo going on for Solar Titan, and we don't care. So long as people are enjoying themselves. The more experienced of us will cover for any deficiencies. It'd be embarrassing if we couldn't do that.
What does any of this have to do with jobs and comparing yourself to others? There are some job requirements that are inescapable, like how you need Lightfall to do Root of Nightmares, and a certain minimum light level. But as long as those are met, you don't need to worry about how your resume (or boss damage) compares to others. You just play to your strengths and do your best to contribute. Odds are, what you bring to the table is still uniquely helpful in some way, just like how a Solar Warlock might bring Well. The Warlock's damage is going to pale against that Arc Hunter with Stareaters, but the Warlock's healing through Well is immensely helpful for the team.
It's like that with jobs too. Say you don't have a lot of technical knowledge, and you're applying for a technical job -- if you've got a lot of experience out working in the field, and the job group has a lot of implementation issues, you're going to bring an incredibly helpful perspective and knowledge.
Hopefully something in that stream of consciousness resonated with you. Walk in the Light, my fellow guardian.
I appreciate the work you put into this, and I've been trying to think of how to respond. I guess my experience has just been different. I went to university and graduated with a BSc right into COVID. I had decent grades and my degree was from a well-known university. I applied to jobs regularly.
I wasn't able to get a job for a year. After I started, no one wanted to give me any help. They just expected me to learn everything on my own. I couldn't even get clarification on what they wanted me to do most of the time. The company tried to pressure me into working unpaid, undocumented overtime to make up for this. After not even a year, they terminated my contract. It took me another year to get a second job, and my contract was terminated after three weeks with no reason given.
I always worked hard in school and that was enough for me to get by. However, it feels like, in the real world, you have to constantly be comparing yourself to others or you will fail. You cannot succeed if you concentrate purely on yourself and what you're doing, because your boss, or your hiring manager, is always going to be comparing you to your peers. If you are so inclined, you can start your own business, make your own product, or whatever. If you do this, there is little to no safety net if you fail though. Society runs on comparing you to everyone else and it sucks.
I guess where the D2 comparison falls apart is that it took me 4 years and over $20,000 to get an undergrad degree that, theoretically, gives me the knowledge and skills to perform a job. I started playing D2 in March of this year and I'm already at pinnacle cap on every class, with a fully masterworked loadout for every subclass. It's really hard to pivot in the real world.
The timing you've had is really rough, and it looks like you've had really shitty employees.
Maybe it's better to say that you might need to compare yourself, but you shouldn't take it as an accurate evaluation of you as a person. A lot of things post college are really up to chance -- who reads your resume, what role you get, what your supervisor is like, who you meet. I got my current job by reaching out to a former coworker from my last job, and I happened to have the right timing.
It's shitty, but it just comes down to persistence. There's nothing wrong with you at all. Don't take any of it as a personal indictment
How does jealousy help you have a job?
Theoretically, it makes you push yourself to be competitive.