Remodeled the house including bathrooms, went for japanese style bidet (i.e. included in the toilet). Would not want to live without it.

• water temperature, as well as pressure, is adjustable. I have on with different presets, so every family member gets to have their own favorite setting
• not messy at all, has a very directed jet of water. Of course you can splash around sitting weirdly on the toilet, but that needs to be very deliberate. Mine has a function that when nobody sits on the toilet, the jet won't start.
• there's options with blow dryers, but even if not, just one dab to dry off instead of wiping and wiping and wiping.
• according to my plumber, it was one more water hose and an electric plug to connect. The device itself of course is much more expensive than a stander toilet. Just using TP now feels so terrible unhygienic. Imagine getting shit on your hand, and you have paper towels, or running water (and paper towels) to clean up. What would you choose? Maybe not really a "problem" solves, but a very, very nice luxury.

Imagine poo being on any other part of you body where you except a piece of paper is enough to get rid of it.

Okay, I see you. I'm part of the bidet users, so I'll weigh in.

Warm water bidets exist, they're a bit more of a hassle to install, but they exist, and I promise you that it doesn't really matter. I have a basic cold water bidet, and it's not as weird as you would think, and I thought I would want the warm water bidet like you, but after a few uses, I didn't care at all. I'm not here to convince you between warm/cold water, if you want it, that's totally fine.

It's definitely not messier. Initially sure, it's probably a complete mess, but you're not just doing a quick/short spray. After a few seconds, everything is running clean. The water is clean and so are you.

Wiping is still a thing. I've heard some fancy bidets have air dryers to finish the job, it's not what I have/use, so I dry myself with TP. Unless you spend a fortune, you will too. I'll say that it takes significantly less tp on average to dry myself off from the bidet than it does to clean myself with TP alone. So my TP use is significantly reduced. Saving money on TP by smartly using a little water, is a good trade IMO.

I wouldn't say TP is "successful". I would say it's adequate at best. In a pinch it does enough to keep the smell and filth to a minimum. By no means is the bidet perfect, certainly there are improvements that can be made, but it's better. To put this in perspective, when you next tear a sheet of TP and get some of it on your hand, try wiping it off with TP and see if you feel like your hand is clean. I'd put money on the fact that it won't feel clean until you properly wash it. That's what you're doing with your asshole. You wipe it down with paper and then go about your day. It's "clean"... As in, not caked in shit, but it's still not really clean. There's still bacteria and other gross ass shit (pun absolutely intended) on your anus.

Additional to that, your butthole is a sensitive membrane on your body that you're cleaning with coarse paper all the time. Bidets have been shown to help with various anus related issues like hemorrhoids. Do you want hemorrhoids? If so, keep scraping that sandpaper over your butthole and I'm sure you'll get there some day.

To the point of it being "too much work": my partner and I picked up a luxe bidet neo (I think it's the 120). Super cheap, no frills model. We didn't want to invest because, like you, we weren't sure if we were going to like it/use it. We do, all the time. We're planning on renovating and adding a new bathroom and the new bathroom is getting a bidet when it goes in. Something very nice. Without question. But the luxe model we have was less than $100, and attached to the existing water hookups. It came with everything we needed (we had to also fix a slow leak on the main inlet to the toilet, so we replaced most of the lines in the process, but if our lines had been good, we would have only needed the extra hardware that came with the bidet, in the box). To that end, it's only a matter of picking one up for less than $100 and taking 15 minutes to install using the directions. No plumber needed, no special tools required (maybe just some wrenches... The bidet comes with some plastic wrenches that are Ikea quality, so having an adjustable/worm-gear wrench is helpful).

So if you have less than $100 sitting around doing nothing, and you can spare 15 minutes.... You can have a bidet. So I respectively disagree that it's "too much work to implement".

I'll leave you with this statement: don't knock it until you try it. It's changed our lives for the better.

Friend, you are not forced to abandon tp when using a bidet.

Too much work to implement? Yes, tell us more about how hard something is that, by your own admission, you don’t understand lmao

My favorite part was when you said tp works as if that is reason to avoid any and all alternatives that people praise highly literally across the globe. “No problem to solve” you realize you’re just smearing shit across your asshole with paper. No problem to solve eh?

But no, the water makes it messier, not smearing literal shit over yourself, that’s definitely cleaner, yep

They have warmers, both water and seat.

No, your butt and legs cover it.

No, that's what it awesome if you get a good one it cleans all the bits.

I switched with COVID cause y'all are out of pocket with the TP. Never looked back. I think have bought one pack of TP since.

As an avid bidet user I feel compelled to answer your points

• it is always warm water (unless you are a masochist, no judgement)
• it points directly to where it needs to go so it stays confined within its domain
• you have to wipe both before and after (before to wipe away most of it, after to dry it)
• it is not a replacement of tp, it is complementary. You need both to achieve full cleaning

All in all I would not live without it anymore, after trying it and reaching enlightenment. 5/5 stars.

Do you wash your ass in the shower? Does that make it dirtier? How you think washing with water is going to be dirtier than smearing with paper is mind boggling. Do you just wipe your hands with paper towels when you're done wiping or do you wash them in a sink with water?

I installed one at home. Cost is an issue especially when you need a gfci outlet installed behind the toilet. But if you're willing to do all that then:

• Water is heated by the unit
• The spray is direct to center. Doesn't deviate unless you don't sit correctly.
• You only have to wipe once if you want to be sure, but the bidet comes with an air dryer.
• Some benefits is if you have hemorrhoids it doesnt irritate them like toilet paper and it does feel way cleaner than tp.

It's not just a blind firehose pointed at your ass. There is accuracy with them, good pressure, so you are cleaning more effectively, and the water is ideally contained in the toilet and to your ass crack for the most part, which you're already wanting to clean anyway.

As somebody quite hairy, it helps me get cleaner, more quickly, save tp, and leave nothing to question. I often dab off with a little double fold to dry a little. Idgaf about a little dampness, at least my ass isn't grimey.

Think about how you pressure wash a deck or home exterior, you wouldn't just take a fuckin paper towel and some cleaner and hope your house looks immaculate.

Cold water up your ass on a winter morning is cheap, quick and a lot closer than coffee places so the lack of a warm water line doesn't bother me any.

• warm water bidets exist, but cold water isnt as bad as you think
• no, thats a common misconception
• you can pat dry with a couple squares of TP, or keep a towel handy since you're clean now
• you ever see all the nooks and crannies of a butthole? You're going to hurt yourself before you're actually clean if you're just wiping with dry paper. You're smearing shit around your asshole and then going about your day with a shitty asshole acting like that's not a problem that needs solving