hey bud. im looking over my comments yesterday and i came in way too hot. im realizing i missed my happy pills that morning. while i agree with pretty much everything i said (i could have absolutely been more precise in my specific racial claims for instance- i painted with an over broad brush and i think it might be fair to say i was externalizing some latent racism, fair callout), i should have said it more gently and kindly. you deserved better. the anger i had, while perfectly valid, was extremely misplaced.

and im looking back over your comments and i think, we're not actually disagreeing for the most part. its perfectly compatible with my views to observe that the resistance movement in america is very much a part of the american culture. i dont think we actually seriously disagree, now i've had a chance to sleep on it. and come to think of it, by rejecting the premise of the song of freedom (while trite and reductive), i am in fact dismissing the real efforts by the named champions among others.

i think i just feel defeated. i look at all the lawlessness around me and feel hopeless. pedofascists control the fed, thugs control my state, my local council is corrupt and the police collect a paycheck for sitting in their cars talking to each other for hours in the mcdonalds parking lot, and i know good and goddamn well there's crimes going on. its all going to shit and i cant help but feel totally defeated. but i shouldnt have taken that out on you, my ally. its amazing how i can see (i think) pretty clearly, but my emotions fuck up my ability to cope with the information effectively.