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this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2026
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No Stupid Questions
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No such thing. Ask away!
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I once used a really nice bidet on a vacation to Europe. It wasn't the cheap ones that are offered in the US that are basically just toilet seat attachments, everything was built in. It was porcelain but the sides were stainless steel. There was no handle to flush the toilet, but when you sat down and let your arms hang by your side you would feel a slight protrusion on the right side that your fingers would naturally press and out popped a remote control that would start the cleaning process. You could select the water temperature, the spraying pattern, the air dry temperature and a couple of other things. There was no toilet paper involved at all and you would be completely clean and dry afterwards. It was also self cleaning, and pretty much soundproof. I started my session with a loud fart and it was barely audible. Oh, and when we first checked into the room there were rose petals in the water in the toilet. So quiet toilets are out there but they cost multiple thousands of dollars. But they're worth every penny.
US toilets are about as antiquated as our trains. Trapped in the 1950s
What I've read is that they tried a couple of times to introduce bidets to US consumers but the majority of them thought they were too weird. I'm going out on a limb here and say this has something to do with the puritanical streak we have in the US and that spraying water on your ass to clean it will somehow lead to something sinful.
I mean, US Americans can't afford that shit. We got health insurance to pay for.
Who can afford a bidet when you can just use a gatoraid bottle.
You can poop in a Gatorade bottle?
No. The Gatorade bottle replaced the bidet you fill it with water and use the water to clean your butthole after pooping
Gatorade bottle? The mouth on that is huge and the plastic too thick - use a cheap water bottle and spike a hole in the cap with a screw driver. Gotta get that precision steam to blast away the sand fleas trying to crawl around.
Lol. Not sure how the logistics of that would work out.
Google "how to wash your butt in India"
There's loads of info on the Internet for confused travelers.
Looked at some videos. I don't see that working for me.