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Have you ever experienced sexual anhedonia?
(lemmy.world)
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This is how most women experience sex when they talk about lack of orgasm in my experience. I would say all or nearly all of my sexual encounters go exactly like this, I’m a woman and I’ve talked about this with my female friends who often or always experience the same thing. For me though there’s no psych meds involved, it’s just what having an unfulfilling partner (someone who might turn you on physically but neglects your mind) is like.
Yeah, your experience more accurately reflects the term. I should have used the term 'ejaculatory anhedonia' or maybe a more generalized 'orgasmic anhedonia' but I couldn't find a consensus on the terms online.
Of course, there's probably a big difference between a pathological condition of being aroused, performing the sex acts in earnest, but not receiving pleasure from it and just having lousy sex you're not into with partners who aren't good at it. Or, like you said, you just can't get there because the mental aspect is lacking.
Though I did note that, like men, there is evidence of women experiencing orgasms without pleasure, but it's harder to observe. Sounds like a cop out to me. Sure it's easy to spot some dude's dribble, but you could easily measure vaginal contractions with a device.