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Have you found this?
(piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone)
This is a community for people with Autism to be themselves. All neurotypes are welcome.
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I think alot of this is the difference of state of mind. People avoid diagnosis, because then they can pretend they are "normal" and then keep trying to avoid being rejected by society, without realizing, no amount of masking hides you completely... Its why some people just flatly treat some people poorly. They sense a person is different then they are and their lack of empathy makes them desire to keep them away.
A person that wants to get diagnosed, is typically done trying to play the game of hiding, and just wants to find better ways to manage day-to-day, without masking 24/7.