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How much pressure have you had to have kids?
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this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2026
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I've actually had people be less pushy about it once I hit my 30's. Though I still get the occasional "why not?" and "what if your husband changes his mind?" when they ask if I have children. Which is honeslty pretty crazy to me, what if it wasn't by choice (it is) and now you're asking "why not?" to someone who wants them but for whatever reason can't have them.
I'm fortunate enough that my parents and in-laws both don't bother us about it. They'd love grandkids but know we won't be having any. The pressure mostly came from coworkers in my 20's where they'd say "You'll change your mind" and dismiss my opinions.
It's shocking the number of people who think they're entitled to know all about your reproductive health and/or choices.
By the time I was in my mid-30s, I had seen several loved ones suffer through infertility and miscarriages, and I thought about how horrible those conversations must be for them, so I started my public awareness campaign.
Someone I barely knew would ask if I had kids. I would say no. If they pressed about why, I would respond with, "You know, when a woman gets to be my age and doesn't have kids, there's usually a reason for it. And she usually doesn't want to discuss it with someone she just met."
Some people would immediately apologize and seemed to genuinely understand how intrusive those questions could be. Others were oblivious and needed things spelled out more clearly: your idle curiosity about other people's family planning is not worth dredging up what could be serious trauma.
When my now-spouse and I were still fairly early in our relationship they asked me to go with them to their gyno appointment, because they wanted to get a tubal ligation.
The Dr actually protested and asked "well this is just a boyfriend, what if your future husband wants kids?"
To which I responded "even if that's not me who the fuck cares if some potential future Douchebag disagrees with their choice and wants to force them into having kids? Why are you asking like it's not 100% their choice? Even If I wanted kids and were married right now, tough shit it's not my body. "
We don't go there anymore, but it's a super religious hospital masquerading as not religious. But when your entire board is religious, the major donations are from churches, a lot of the staff go to said churches, and your medical decisions clearly reflect religious views, you can't really claim to be anything but a religious organization... Unfortunately, the only one within half an hour drive of here...