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Dating_IRL
(lemmy.dbzer0.com)
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this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2026
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Queer_IRL
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Because there's too many people and first visual impression is really important and easy to start with.
Probably.
It's not perfect. Maybe we could have multiple matching phases that have to get through? I dunno. It really depends on the app and location and demographics.
I do think that first visual impression is important to me, as shallow as that may be. But I also know that that severely unbalances things compared to real life dating. Or maybe it just lets people be more deeply honest? I'm sepio and nearly demi because of that, but also highly visually/physically driven. So, to be efficient, I do pics first and depending on app, match based on that. Then, if it's a mutual, read or read more of the profile, and try to have a conversation to see if there's anybody home and check for chemistry. If there's no chemistry or it's too stupid, I'm out.
But, unlike most people, I try to actually let people down.
But on, uh, other apps where there's no matching and only taps, the entire first part of that doesn't happen. If there's no pic, skip. If the pic is busted, skip. If the pic is even decent, I'll read the profile and what they said. And if that all feels good so far, start a convo. But if I've messaged them at all and I've decided against, I do try to let them know, so they don't keep hoping. I've been on the other side of this, and it is shit. I only ever block people when they need to be.
But all this said, there still needs to be a better way that serves EVERYBODY better, not just the most conventionally attractive people. Like, social competition is fine, but it's out of control. Maybe they can implement a feature that protects privacy and from stalking while also balances things out a bit, while also not algorithmically categorizing people and allows freedom and autonomy and self-respect (like not algorithmically "downgrading" people or classing people).
Honestly, this type of stuff is pretty important, and if you have ideas, society at large would be happy to have them, as long as it doesn't make the world worse than it already is.