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Do you think this guy likes me, or is he just being nice? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago by imnotpainter@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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Context: I’m 19 and completely inexperienced when it comes to dating. Two days ago, my friend, her boyfriend, and I were supposed to go see Backrooms together, but one of the boyfriend’s friends joined us last minute. This guy insisted on paying for my movie ticket, snacks, dinner afterward, and even 3 books when we stopped at a bookstore, and then he drove me home. After the movie, I mentioned that I wanted to see Obsession next because, in my mind, they’re kind of sister movies, and he said we should go see it together, which we did yesterday. He acted the exact same way then too. He’s also going fishing on Sunday, and I’m going with him. I’ve never had a guy act like this toward me before, so I honestly don’t know what to make of it. But I really love it, and I can’t stop thinking about him.

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[-] Pamasich@kbin.earth 15 points 1 day ago

I feel like this part of the link above is relevant here:

Excessive attention and affection does not constitute love bombing if there is no intent or pattern of further abuse.

The key to understanding how love bombing differs from romantic courtship is to look at what happens next, after two people are officially a couple.

Surely if you've been happily married for 33 years, what you did back then wasn't actually love bombing, right?

[-] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

The real answer is that love bombing is simply a behavior pattern that can be benign, or beneficial, or destructive.

A healthy way it might play out would be:

Initial infatuation ->

-> communication leads to deeper and more wholistic appreciation ->

-> moderation into a mutually comfortable new status quo.

But, the way tiktok understands the term is closer to 'anyone who is really nice to you and gives you a lot of attention, for no apparent reason, is potentially intentionally executed a fully consciously premeditated plan to manipulate you and then throw you away afterward.'

Can that happen?

Yep.

How can you tell the difference, before hand?

Uh, you basically can't, not right from step one anyway.

[-] Zwuzelmaus@feddit.org 3 points 1 day ago

You may have noticed, or maybe not, that OP did not ask about that specific thing called love bombing, and the same goes for this commenter.

[-] Pamasich@kbin.earth 6 points 1 day ago

I don't get what else the person I replied to could have meant, given the comment they replied to.

[-] NABDad@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Surely if you've been happily married for 33 years, what you did back then wasn't actually love bombing, right?

I guess I should ask the wife.

this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2026

184 points (100.0% liked)

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