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this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2023
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Asklemmy
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Having gone through conscription military, I have leveled up some very important abilities.
Looking busy: I can find convincing ways to spend time without actually doing anything important.
Wasting time: When nobody is looking, I can find creative and fun ways to pass the time. (this ability is maxed out)
Also gained a few special perks.
Forest fun: Who needs movies, games or the internet when you have an axe and some wood. Even pine cones, rocks and sticks will be enough to keep you preoccupied in creative ways.
Day dreaming: Who needs the forest, when you can build countless universes in your mind.
Oh, and I did learn to shoot and keep my rifle in working order. I guess that’s nice too. Didn’t get to level that anywhere near as much, but that’s ok.
To add on to your 'looking busy' skills....In Moving Pictures, sir Terry Pratchett points out that if you have a determined fast walk and a piece of paper in your hand, you can go anywhere. I used to use this technique to get breaks in the office. I'd just grab a piece of paper and quickly walk the length of the building with a determined expression.
And if you walk fast enough, the paper can also be completely empty.
Kind of the same as "wearing a yellow jacket and acting like you belong"... Add in the piece of paper and the determined look, that's how you get handed the city keys
Some time in the 90s several computers of an office were stolen that way. Some guys just parked a van right in front of the front door and started loading the van with computers. Those machines weren’t cheap back in those days, so these guys just got away with some pretty nice loot. All you have to do is walk in with a determined look and everyone will assume you’re simply doing your job.
Smooth criminal !