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[-] desra@slrpnk.net 5 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I understand why everyone thinks Harambe's death was the reason but it's inaccurate. Harambe was just a symptom of the alteration to the timeline. It was actually a stone marten in a CERN transformer that changed our course in April 2016.

It actually wasn't the first time this happened either. Apparently there was a previous one that got fried and tossed. Maybe it's just in the former branch.

Anyway I think they started fucking with the continuum when Fermilab's scientists (who would eventually go on to work at CERN) had an animal named Felicia, a Ferret who would would clean Meson Lab accelerator though I suspect this was a cover story regarding their first experiments with mustelids, colliders and alternate reality back in 1971.

It's Steins;Gate IRL, but with weasels and transformers.

Obligatory fuck CERN.

this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2026
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