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I heard a ruckus down at tha chicken run
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this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2026
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If it came to that, I'm going with Mad Monkey. Where I grab a stick and jump up and down and holler like an angry monkey while beating the stick on the ground, throw the stick at the bear, then beat by chest with both hands.
But honestly, I care more about the bear than the stupid chickens. I would scare it off, but never kill it for killing stupid chickens. (The chickens never bonded with me despite a lot of effort to do so. My bloodthirsty dog singlemindedly trying to murder them might be a factor, but still.)
For chickens to bond, you gotta start really young. If someone else is hatching them nd you get them later, they have to put the time into socializing and helping the birds recognize humans as part of their "flock".
An older chicken that hasn't had the time put in will never really bond. They'll get used to you, be nice even, but they won't see you as part of their in group.
I got mine as chicks from a hardware store, and I've heard they are less friendly than ones hatched from someone's flock. I did spend a lot of time trying, feeding them, often giving them sprouted grain and other good foods out of my hand.
Which apparently did not win them over. I've never had trouble bonding with such animals before, I've even had pet birds.
Yeah, they tend to have less connection because of all the process of going from hatchery to store, and the lack of interaction before they get bought. They'd be fine layers, but less fine friends.
And breed factors in too. The ones usually out for sale in a store will be bred for laying or meat, and that means no attention to more than bare docility. Some breeds though, they're known for being friendly rather than just calm. We have a marans that prefers human company to other birds most of the time. Since she was also hand raised before we got her, I'm not too surprised she tends to amaze people with how friendly and loving she is.
I think if you get more, find a local breeder and you'll have way better luck