A lot is just the mentality of what patriarchy means. Men who think women are lower in the hierarchy which gives them the right to do what they think is right, to dismiss those who they think of as lesser and to exercise that natural power over them which they think they have. And anything that threatens their perceived superiority through dissent or non-compliance is met with violence and abuse - mental or physical. As the ones on top they decide what they think is appropriate is the answer and that their worth is shown by how much they can impose themselves on others and make them feel smaller, to bow down to their superiority. And when that comes to lust and sex, this is the most masculine of things for them so when people don't immediately go weak at the knees and want them it hurts them and their fragile ego and they lash out with violence.

And this is why I honestly believe trans people of all flavours are a big part of the answer. They cause that fragile worldview to crumble - people they view as superior "choosing" to relinquish that power and those who they view as born inferior coming to join them and showing them just how pathetic they really are.