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Anyone notice how all (well intentioned) advice for autistic people is just "mask harder"? (lemmy.ca)
submitted 1 day ago by sveltecider@lemmy.ca to c/autism@lemmy.world
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What the title says. Well intentioned, often other "neurodivergent" people look at your life, your autism, and say: "you should mask harder."

For example, I accidentally said something that offended a friend. Won't go into detail, but it was me unintentionally coming off as arrogant, not something bad like a slur or hate speech.

I asked for advice (elsewhere) and the advice was universally, "you see, NT avoid this topic at all costs. Going forwards, know it is best to avoid this topic."

But isn't this just saying "mask harder and be more palatable for everyone else"?

Every piece of "autism advice" I see even in "neurodivergent friendly" communities is basically "how to be less autistic."

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[-] Swaus01@piefed.social 20 points 1 day ago

I asked for advice (elsewhere) and the advice was universally, “you see, NT avoid this topic at all costs. Going forwards, know it is best to avoid this topic.”

I don't think of that as masking actually. NTs run into the "said something they shouldn't have" error quite a lot... i think of that as just learning new social nuance. If social interactions are like kayaking in ooen water, this is the equivalent of bumping (gently) into a wall that was already there, but being given instructions to mask more is like them putting down barriers to reduce the amount of water you have available to maneuver in.

But I do think in your example that the best course would be for NTs to just be more aware of and accepting of ND saying things they consider weird. Would be the most efficient course of action and is more of a solution than "Add this to the mental list of things you can't talk about!"

this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2026
207 points (100.0% liked)

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