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Netbird is king.
(lemmy.fedioasis.cc)
Figured I'd give Netbird a go, glad I did because I can self host extremely easily by using the new services feature.
You specify a subdomain, point to a peer, specify a protocol and port, and you are good. NetBird fetches you the certificate and your site goes live fast.
I can use my Immich with my mobile data now.
Edit: Note that I choose to self host NetBird, and haven't really used the service they provide all that much.
Because the main reason I'm self-hosting is to have control over my data. This includes a lot of metadata about my infra/services/devices which Tailscale is uploading all the time to their servers. Besides that, they're on the Enshitification road, which made me to search for 100% self-hosted alternatives. And yes, I'm going for EU based companies when it's a viable option.
You can self host the Tailscale server via Headscale.
You gave away your metadata getting on the internet today. I like controlling my data as well, however I realize that certain compromises just have to be made in order to continue to live in a global, civilized, society.
While I agree with You that there is always a compromise regarding privacy and participation. But you can always take steps to reduce that delta between reality and ideal by optimizing things.