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[-] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

I am Latina and femme presenting (although much more in the past than now). Although I wouldn't say that I've moved towards an androgynous/masc presentation because of the fetishizing, I'd say it's definitely helped with scaring some of the worst ones away. Also, I'm older now so less likely to be ogled at by a certain type of person.

When I was younger I worked in the service industry so I think it was a lot of me just "dealing with it" in the way that femmes are socialized to do. Just smile and brush it off or whatever. My self esteem wasn't great and I have always been a people pleaser.

So to answer your question, it was gross and I didn't manage it. Looking back on it now, I wish I'd told those people (one of whom I dated) to fuck right off.

[-] LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 months ago

Ohhhh yes being older has DEFINITELY helped. I'm less attractive therefore less creeped on

[-] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

Hm, I don't know you personally but I really don't think being older is necessarily less attractive. Part of the harmful beauty standards of the patriarchy.

Maybe less attractive to the disgusting men who run our society and find prepubescent or barely pubescent children attractive?

We all have beauty, just society dictates which type of beauty holds more public value.

[-] TheDoctorDonna@piefed.ca 6 points 2 months ago

Last year, at 40 years old (I am just a white lady so it's not actually relevant to the broader topic, only your comment but still), I was approached by an elderly man and he told me how nice it was to see ladies that still dressed like ladies. When I walk down town there's a group of old guys that always yell out that I'm a "beautiful lady". At a certain age, they don't notice your age anymore and they think they can just say whatever they want because they're old and no one will say anything. I'm not even conventionally attractive n any way.

I was on my way to a hair appointment anyways (I had hair almost touching my butt which paired with the dress made me ladylike apparently) as I was chopping off my hair to donate, but coming out of there with a short, androgynous haircut felt liberating after that. And it's sad because enjoy looking feminine and feeling pretty but people tend to ruin it every time.

this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2026
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