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[-] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Kinda Offtopic: But this reminds me of the "Jetlag" I had when I first came to the US. I think this was like right before school is supposed to start (as in, the first time going to a US school for me in my entire life), I remember like going somewhere, and I was so tired I fell asleep in the car (relative's car, they were driving us around to places, we didn't have a car), and btw I'm from China so the timezone is like exactly reversed and the US was 12 hours behind during DST, so anyways, I remember waking up just as we pulled in front of the house we rented and my mom said she was about to have to carry me inside. I kinda wish that she did... but I was 8 and was already too big lol. I remember still asking my parents to try and like... pick me up and like try to carry me (I was a kid, I'm just like that... weirdly demanding affection) but I think they kinda tried but I was way too big lol and barely managed to life me off the ground, dad kinda did better but like he kinda like lift me off the ground for 5 seconds then got tired. xD

I remember I sometimes sit on my mom's laps as a kid, and sometimes I'd sit beside her and rest my head on her lap like a pillow, and my mom would encourage me to do that... like idk I think she was just very affectionate with me... like when I'm like outside and like on a subway/bus ride and tired and wanna sleep and I'd just rest my head on her lap... and I think I remember my aunt (dad's sister) once said to my mom something that I'm very (in Cantonese), I think she meant along the lines of "wow, your son is very clingy 😄"... I don't think her kids are that close to her, like they are much less affectionate I think... (they were born in the US btw) think Aunt might be jealous that we just havr a different bond.

But then again... I also have a lot of memories of my mom being emotionally abusive... so yeah kinda hard to forget about those moments... memories are like a mindfield, and you're trying to find gold hiding within this mindfield

Anyways, I always have these random memories coming back again and again lol.

this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2026
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