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Adhd+IBS+loneliness (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

Hi everyone! This will be a bit long sorry.

First, Thank god for lemmy, I can finally share this. f**k reddit.

So... I'm an extremely introverted person, i don't have friends irl nor online. I've been fighting with ADHD since ever and didn't even know! I discovered that I have this disorder just a year ago. I knew that i have IBS aka irritable bowel syndrome. I can’t feel hungry becuz of it at all but It makes me very emotional and depressed. Adding ibs to adhd to loneliness is something only people who are dealing with knows how it feels, lately after falling in college and dropping out and feeling that my life is destroyed. My condition worsened, im fought to save myself and I managed to gain a skill and I'm working as freelancer. But loneliness is still there. I try to be patient i try to stop the tears but i can't take it anymore i cry a lot and i feel sometimes like my chest is crashing. Pls people like me what do you guys do in this situation? Plz help with whatever you know is helpful. I'll very appreciate it.

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[-] Azzu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

Pretty similar.

Loneliness is one of the worst pains a human being can feel. It's often been ranked even worse than physical pain. I don't envy you, I know what it's like.

Unfortunately, the only way to get out of it is through even more pain (probably). You have to force yourself to talk with new people and create deep relationships.

Even more pain, because you're very likely to be rejected. First of all, deep relationships, in contrast to superficial relationships, have much higher compatibility requirements, idk, you're probably only compatible with maybe 5% of people to form a deep relationship with. But then you probably also have bad social skills right now, so a part goes away through that. And then there's just situationally no path towards a deep relationship with a person, maybe they have too many already, or whatever, so another part of that 5% goes away. So the actual chance to start a deep relationship is very low, which will mean lots of rejection and failure.

This will be incredibly painful, because you're likely already introverted for reasons that involve negative interactions with people. And you'll likely add more of them to the list unfortunately. But I'm almost sure you'll add many more positive ones to the list as well.

You can do it like me and get rejected over and over until you feel so worthless and desperate that you rewrite your whole being to please another person, then latch to anyone that gets fooled by you pretending to be what they want, then breaking down because you're living a completely fake life.

Wait, maybe that's bad advice? Naaah worked for me so must be good right?

But seriously. I'm mainly saying this because I went through all kinds of mistakes, but doing them was better than not doing anything. And I know for a fact it can be done. I was incredibly lonely, having no friends, in so much emotional pain all the time, but now I feel like the happiest person on Earth, with so many good friends and loving relationships abundant.

All of this shit you're facing right now can be conquered and overcome. Keep searching for advice like you're doing right now. Humans are not meant to face the world alone, and there are always people willing to help you, you already see it in this thread, and add me to the list. Talking with many other distinct humans about our problems is almost the best thing you can do. We learn through other's experiences almost as much as through our own experiences.

If you want to know more, I'm here, talk with me. You can do this :)

[-] Tender@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 12 hours ago

Tks for sharing I mean yeah I have bad social skills which can't make my chances of getting into a deep relationship lower than it already is! But keep trying i created some accounts on some social media with wide specific communities that I can help me find people with same interests. I'm trying hard. I wish for both of us the best.

this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2025
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