Its so ironic how the first line of PRC anthem is

“起来，不愿做奴隶的人们” ("Arise, people who refuse to be slaves")

Then we get... this... gestures at Mainland China

like...

lmao

Omg they play that shit like everyday, I have that PRC anthem stuck in my head, I can still kinda remember it lol.

I remember when I was a kid, I kinda wanna sneak into the broadcast room and like... mess with stuff... you know, I was 6-7 and curious. But they locked the door to that room.

I remember once I didn't wanna do the... I think its the monday thing (or was it a monthly thing?, can't remember), where like they make kids stand in the schoolyard and they make announcement, kinda like how in the US, they made kids go to the Auditorium, know what I mean?

Then I remember the raising the flag ceremony in the schoolyard.

I remember just standing there... listening to some... announcement thing? that I don't remember because it was probably boring as hell. Probably like school related, when tuition is due (I wasn't allowed in public school due to lack of Guangzhou Hukou, but I didn't remember learning about this until later on when I was older), or like when school trips happen, or like when school is off, about academics... I assume that's what the announcements were probably about, I have no memory of any of the content of it.

Sometimes the sun is just shining and it gets like hot and it's annoying to be there and I get tired.

So I remember like one time I didn't feel like being there, I just sneaked away as everyone was in the process going to ans gathering in the schoolyard, and I just hid in the staircase at like the very top (roof access is locked I was lile by that door, but still in the staircase), and I just looked over the schoolyard from the 3rd floor. I just sat on the stairs, my mind wandering, and occasionally looking over to see if they finished the boring-ass "rituals" yet. (Y'all ever hate being in the auditorium for so long? It's like that) I think by the end of it, like it was an hour long or something, some 4/5 grader found me and... told the teacher? and... I don't remember what happened after, probably got in trouble for not being with the class lol.

It's so weird, memories are fuzzy, but I remember the emotions associated with school. I kinda always hated school, like... I'm just socially anxious. Didn't like to conform. I don't remember ever really making friends. (Could be due being uncomfortabke with the language. I spoke Cantonese at home, school was Mandarin, so it felt "distant" to me, like methaphorically speaking, like I'm in a different realm. Or maybe that's just being an introvert.)

My throughts are messy, not sure if any of it was coherent.