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Your statements do not support your initial arguments.
You've conveniently just ignored everything I responded to about grandparents and women being forced out of their careers as a rule.
Further, you state
It's a culture of hating kids.
and that is just not true.You are seeing some shitty people and extrapolating that out to "this society hates kids" which is 100% not the case. That is what I take issue with.
I could go on at length about things Japan could do better for families and, in my decade here, there has been great improvement. There is still room to go. That does not mean that Japanese people hate children and do not want them. It does not mean that this is a Japan-only problem yet your argument is that Japan hates kids.
So you want to tourist-splain to me as someone who lives here and has for a decade? I have family, friends, and coworkers with young kids. I do hear their complaints. I do see their struggles. Again, what you are describing, that Japan has some systemic and cultural child-hating complex, is not at all supported by your argument. It is also laughable to me that you would think you have a better handle on Japan as a whole as a tourist who goes to a few cities. You want to know what you're also not seeing? You're not seeing the programs in place. You're not seeing the variety of things that have been and are being done. You're literally just making stuff up and saying that all of Japan (the grandparents, for example) is some way.
You have your experience as a local and I have my experience as a tourist and both of us is right in our own view of Japan.
I experience the assholeness of Japanese people towards my young family. Making us feel like a second class citizen for disturbing them with my crying kid. Being turned away from restaurants for having a kid. Not letting me rent a stroller because my kid is 5 days older than the cutoff birthday at Universal studios. From security guards asking me to quiet down my kid because he is having a tantrum.
You're right, maybe it's not that they hate kids. Maybe they just hate tourists. Whatever is the case, those places I have visited are not family friendly.
I will say that the people of 琉球 doesn't act like this.