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me_irl
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2025
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me_irl
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I don't like to be required to 1)guess correctly that they're lying to me and 2)indulge them in the lie. Especially since it'd also be considered rude of me to get 1) wrong.
Absolutely, just as they don't like to be required to be impolite just so you understand. This is why communication is sometimes complicated. I wouldn't call it a lie, but a truth transmitted differently than what you're used to.
It's a lie.
Not all lies are evil and manipulative but it's a lie nonetheless.
The secret to good communication and the solution to issues like this is to stare the horse in the face and clarify what their expectations are, what's expected of you, and what they mean.
It's awkward as fuck the first few times you do it but it always helps clear the water.
It's a lie as much as saying "good thanks" when someone asks you how you are. In my world, everyone understands "good thanks" is just a polite thing to say, not actually how I'm feeling at the moment. Sure, I guess you can call it that if you want, but I don't believe it's morally wrong the way most actual lies are.
I guess I just don't understand why being untruthful is considered more rude than being honest. I find being untruthful much more rude. Being untruthful and expecting me to guess that that's what's happening is what's making the exchange complicated, it could be quite simple if they told the truth.
Agreed. If you’re interested in better understanding the face-saving mores of global “honor cultures,” it’s a fairly interesting and relatively deep topic of study: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Face_(sociological_concept)
I suppose it's a way of saying something along the lines of "I'm not feeling like it but I appreciate you enough to try to not be hurtful." This form of implicit communication works very well in close-knit communities, but once you start mixing people with different backgrounds, it becomes much more efficient to be direct and literal, even if communication loses a bit of its charm.