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Tailscale can use relays if it cant find a way to make a p2p connection. Check the documentation. There is a command you can run to see whats using the relay.
The siblings could run
tailscale ping nodeIP/nodeName
This not only shows if they are connected via a DERP (relay) but also retries to connect them directly a few times.
If that doesn't work out it can sadly be quite hard figuring out why a DERP is used instead of a direct connection.
This is the first thing I'd look at too.