[request] my spouse won't accommodate my neurodivergence (discuss.online)

submitted 2 weeks ago by james_baxter@discuss.online to c/neurodivergent@discuss.online

14 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I can't put many details right now because I am at work. But I want to know if anyone else struggles with this or has advice?

I will update with details later.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] gid@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago

It will depend entirely on the accommodations you are asking of them. What seems unreasonable to them may feel reasonable to you, and the same the other way around.

More details would definitely be useful here.

[-] james_baxter@discuss.online 3 points 1 week ago

I've asked for lists rather than her telling me tasks while I am busy, and then gets upset if I forget.

My defense is that if I can't make a physical note, and I likely will forget, then text me or write it down. She says I should just be able to remember.

I agree that more details help with this. I had hoped someone would relate and share their experiences based on vague information.

I'm working on a longer post and will post it tomorrow after I've had a chance to sleep, so that I can read it with a fresh perspective.

[-] gid@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago

That sounds like a reasonable request.

If you're open to advice, I'd suggest exploring communicating and unpacking needs with your partner. In the example you've given, you've shared with her that you need things written down in order to better remember a task. Her reply "you should just be able to remember" is unhelpful on it's surface, but it's possible that behind that is a need that's being unmet. Perhaps she feels she's not being listened to? it's worth exploring this with her.

load more comments (1 replies)