If they called this anything other than pizza, it'd just be weird quirky regional meme food.

It's the fact they're trying to pass this off as pizza that turns it into an abomination. An affront to all sentient and/or a̴l̵g̴o̸r̸i̵t̶h̷m̸i̸c̴ creators of this universe. A blasphemy so heinous that ȩ̷̛̖́v̶̘̥̭̤͚̝́͜i̷̭̳͐̇̎͒l̸̲͓̒͛ ̸̞̪͍͈̖̲̓͗̑̈́́̃̐î̶̥̣̮̦̥̽̈́̔͜͠ͅt̶̞͎̉̐̍̑s̵̪͎͖̄̿͑e̶̲̲̪͋̏̊̈́ḻ̸̥̘̩͉̉̂̀͐̏͠f̴̘̦̼̾͗̈́̿̆ shies away. Ș̶̡̧̢̻̳̖̙̲͍͓͍͚͌̓̉͒̐̾͗́̀͘Ť̴̗͊́͗͋̐̓̔̃̄͆̐̒͝͠A̶̩͙̤̠͍͔̰͈͎̠̜̞̪͈̺̅̑̀̈͑̓͌̐͆͂̐̚̚̚͜N̵̨̹̞͍͍̅D̷̡̨͇̯̙̪͚̜̜̝̀͜͜ Y̶̧̛̛͙͚̬̣̣̬̞̮̯̬̝͎͖͔̰̻̪̱͐͒̅͌̈̓̂̀̐͗̏̌͆͑͆̀̂̔̊͋̔̉͑̆͑̓̎͐̚̕͜͜͝E̷̡̧͍̦͖̻̘͍͚̩̼̰̯̮̪͓͚̣͑̈́́͌͑͋̽͗̓́̍́̍̇̒̇̑̿͋̀̿̏͗̀́́͗̀̊͋̽̔́͊͋͌͐̂̍͘̕̚̚͜͜͜͝͠͝͝͠͠͠͝ ̷̧̨̨̢̡̨͎̬͖͍̝̠͚̦̥̬͙̮͈̻̙̘̰̹͕̥̦̦̦̞̹͈̤̹̘̟̳̖͙̞̖͖̬͕̯̖̘͉͍̗̹̘̹͔̜̳̤̂̎̄͋̍͆̈́͌̎̇̈́̑̑͊̓̀̿̅̂̅̄̿̎́͂͑̅͒̀̃̔̄̃̆͊̇̈͘͘̕͜͠͝͠ͅM̷̢̡̡̢̢̡̢̛̼͚̮̻̦͔͚̠̦̥͉̺̥̻̠͔̦̭̬̹̠̲̥̟͕̺̫͉̩̗̮͇͇̬̱͉̯̞̦̱̬̼͔̘̝͛̋͂͌̓̅́͜͜͜ͅO̷̧͙̩̱̿̈́̏̒̓͋̈́̀̇̆͘Ŗ̴̛̛̯̗̅̈́̉̏̓̅̌̓̎̔̽̌͑͋͐̈́̌̌̀͒̂̋̐̌́̈̏̍͂̋̇̽͛̿̏̉̇͊̈́̏̕͘̕͘͘͠͝Ţ̴̨̧̛̛͚̳̖̞̪͇̞̘̱͕̲̺͚͙͚͓̦͇̞͎͔͓̟͍̱̩͉̬̪̻̳̜͚͇̖̺̼̥̤̙̠͍̖͉̻̱̗͇̮̬̦̻̥̑̅͆̂͗̀͌̌̈͗̔͊͛̎͛̓̅͋̽̐̈̇̉̐̽̃̆̆̈́̅͊͂̓̂͒̒̎̈́̿̑̿̀̂͛͒̿͐͘̕͘͜͝͝͠ͅA̵̧̢̡̧̛̰͎̼͙̭̦̱͔̻̫͙̟̪̳̤͉̯̠͇̟̘̲̜͈͔̣̦̘̹̦͇̞͖̼̐̀̄̈́̊̄͌̿̀̆͂̃̈͋̍́̐̔͐̋̽͆̍͛̐̌͗̎̔̀͋̍́̇͊͘͜͜͜͝͠͝ͅL̵̡̢̛̥̙̥͙̟͙̻̤͍̟̙̜͕͈̜̭̦̰͓̠͓͖̺̩͙̯̝͖̟͖̫͖̲̫̤͉̗̗͙̥͚̭̪͇͓̮̗̟̩̘͙͚̗̓̒́̊̏̋̐̃͊̅̔͆̃͑̎̒̈́̾̆́̍̽̋͋̇͐̑̾̂͋̒̏̋̊̓̾̅́̆͌͒̀̇̒͐́̔͑̆̋̑̈́͐͊̄̽̚̚͘͜͝S̵̢̧̡̨̛͖̞̯͎̜͎̱̝̤͎̻̤͓͇̲̼͔̲̪̟͕͍͇͕̩͙͙̖͔̱̟̦̺̳͓͔͙̮͕̪͆̔͊̅̽̃̊͑̄̀͊͋̽̄̃̀̃̽͋͋̾̌͒͋̈̈́́͒̆̄͊͊͑́̂̆̌̍͋͌͗̋̔̓̋̈́̑͐͛̇̎̅͠͠͝ Ạ̸̢̡̨̢̧̡̢̧̨̧̧̨̧̨̧̨̨̡̢̧̥̬͕͕̱͈͙̠͇̟̯̗̯̞͇̝̱̙̺͍̙͕̣̙̠̤͉̤̜̬̪̗̞͇̭̥̬͖̼̻̠̫͉̱̱͚͕̩͕̪̩̭̟̲̞̗͇̦̱̬͎͓͚̝͇̜̻͉̝̘̩̗̠͙͙̻̳͈͕̲͇̼̮̞̠̘̤͍̮̜͚̦̹̹̤̣̹̯̘̝̱̤̤̩̜̦͖̙̥͓͖͔̜̠̬͍̞̯̜̟̣̫̗̦̻͍͎̮̥͖̤̪͍͎̞̼͕̬̻͈͋̈̔̓͗̐̏̂͑̈́̍͌̈́̆̈̋̆̿̿͊̓̇̀̂͋͑̀̎̿̎̐̑̅̃̔̑͂̈̽̍͛̈͂̈́͒̊̉̍̑͌̾͑̍̔̉͛̊͒̒͌̈́̌͒͗̎̃̑̾͐̃͂̐͆̍͐͑͋̈́̇͑̐̂̈̚̕͘̚͘͘͜͜͜͜͠͝͝͠͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅN̶̨̨̨̨̨̨̧̛̛̛̹̬͇͈̯͍͍̟̗̥̬̤͉̹͍̜̭̖̬̬̬̪̖̤̜̬̤͎͚̘͍͎͍̦̣̳̟͖͈̝̭͕͍̦̝̘͕̳̪̤̦̫̣̙͎͒̉̊͊̎̀͛͂̏͛̽͐̇̓͑̋͛̍̆̆̄͆̌͌̈́̉̾̈̓̐̑̾̄̓̆͂͗̀̎̐͂̀͊̾̽̂̊̉̃̋̋̽̄́̎͊̓͂̏̽͐͌͆̏̊͊͋̈́̉̈́̔̉̃̊́̅̊̎͊̽̆̒̈́̂̊̀́͑̏͐͌́̂͌̈̀̂̑̑͋̓̿͆̓̿̿͌́͊̋̑͐̄̉̀̑̐̽͆̕̚̕͘̚͘͘͘̚͜͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͝͝͝͠͝͝ͅĎ̷̨̢̡̧̢̛̛̮̮̜̺͕͔͖̣͇͔̳͓̻̖͚͚̺̺͍̖̳͖̮̟̱̣̜͎̥̳̟̱̺̝̼̘͚̟̹̬̪͍̻͎̰̯͖͖͕̈́̐̄̄̑͂̓̎̈́̈́̽̿͒̉͂̋͐̑͛̌̔̈̂̔͑̽̽̒͊̈͛̑̏̇̑́̊́̋̓͒͂̿́͘̚̚͘̚͜͠͝ͅͅ ̵̡̢̨̡̡̡̛̳̝̖̠͖̘̯͇͖͎̺̰̹̼̬̙̙͔̜̜͖̟͎̰̞͎͍̺͙̯̹̗̝̪̻͔̰̪̖̜̬̱͈͉̤̩̙̲̬̥̟̹̝̹̗̱̗͑̃͂̾̉̀̄̑̋́͌͌̀̌̆̂͗̾͌͗̓̀̅̈̊̈̈́̈́̅̍̆̾̔̏̓̋͘̚͘͝͝͝͝͝͠R̶̨̨̧̧̢̨̧̨̧̢̧̧̨̢̨̧̧̡̡̡̬͔͔̬̭̺̻̦̖̖̩͍͔̩̦̩͖̟̥̦̘̹̳͕̮̲̩͙̝̙̩͕̤̹̗̥̙̭̹̲̼̻̝̠̺̜̰͎̟̺͉͔̮̤͓̖͇͎̘̜͈̲̜͙̲̘̲̱͕̯̱̲͕̜͖͚̙͍̬̩̠̹͙͔̖̠̖͕͍̥̣̙̣̥͕͇͕̥̭͈̰̠͎̰̰̞͔̥̦̮̲̳̼̖̹̰̦͓͍͈̙̤̟̙̙̘͈͖̣̻̘̺̙̪͕̪̙͔̫͍̻̼̤͔͎̞̩͓͕̖̮̹̯͕͉̤̹̟̣͉̞͙̗̥͉͚̘̹̠̯̻̋͑̈́̈̋̈́̍͐͊͒͊͑͗͂̀̈̉̈́͗̏̕͜͝͝ͅͅͅȨ̴̢̡̧̛̛̠̪̹̲̗͇͖̪̙̙͎͚̣͙̲̬̳͎͕̳̙͍͎͈̹̲̫̹̙̫͎̫̱̖̯̜̲̻͍͔̻̩͉͉͉̖̲̗̻̟̠̘̹̦̻̱̫͈̻̣̻̟͇̝̓̑̓́̏̍̈́́͂̎̌̓̆̎́̌́́͐́̾̔͑̂̆̎͌̉̽̾̐̈́̂̀̍͒̉̏̉̆͗̄̎͗̑͌̓̿̓̅̔́̇͌́̈̔̔̇̈́̊̅̋̓̿̂̃̏̋̏̐̀͋͂̂̈͋̌́̄̆͒̔͆̀̿́͂̒́̐̎͂̿͆̌̌͛̓͌͌̈́̏̓̉̓͒͑̈̃͐̈́̎͌̾̈́̉̄̓̒̆̏̿̈́̀͑̿̌̔̽̄̽͛̌̒̈́̃̀̊̅̑̀̋̔̅̿̉̀̓̂̒́̈́͊͂́̔͑̉̉̀̃̄̈͘̚̕̚͘͘͠͝͠͝͝͝͠͠͝͠͝͝͠͠ͅͅͅP̴̧̢̡̨̧̡̧̧̛̛̛̛͇̣̣͚͎̹͓̘̤̗͍̳͈̟͇̘̘̮͚̹̫̬̩̘͇̱̤̘̩͕̬͕̣̖̯̣̹͚͎̫̹̦̬͍͈͉̦̤͓̥̭̻̰̠̬̐͊̽̈͒͛͂͌͊͂̊͐̃̎͑̉͌̑̿́̒̀͌̔̊̾̋̇̅̿̽̍͂̏̓͒̎̈́̈̂͛͆̒̒̈́̉̿̔̋̈̃̎̉̃̊̾͑̿̄̔͆̏̽̃̂͊̏̿͒̋̔̍̐̓̅̅̋̔̉̆̀͌̃͑̑̿̓́̃̈́͌́͂̐̉͑̇͑̉̓̍̌̾̈́̾̀̐̐̈̊̎͗̆́̀̓͂̉̔̇̇̃̃̌̎̽̓̒͌́̈̆̓̿́̍̒̈́̎́̌̌̂̾̌̊̏́̓͊̋̀̑̏̓͌͗̈́͗͑̉̂̈̑̇̆̌̌̀́̿̍͒̇̅̿̓͂̈́͘̕̕̚͘͘̚̕̚̚͘̕̕̕̕̚͜͠͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͠͝͝͝͝͠͠ͅĘ̷̨̡̡̨̨̡̡̨̨̧̨̢͇̤̰̥͖̗͔̼̰̪̮̳̺͙̬̤̯̻̮̯̯͈̩̱͖͚̘̖̙͇̮͉̥̹͈͓͕͉̳͍̱̦̦̺̼̗̫͎̪̣̥̙͓͕͕͙͔̣̘̟̳̳̬̙̳̲̫̠̯̥̼̪̳̳̬̫͙͕̦̞̟̮͉̝̤͈͈̱̩͚͎̳̥̖̺̣̗͚̲̲̦̰͎͙̗̠̦͔̱̟̬̻̥̗͇̹͍̯̫̰̳̩̩͈̟͔̟̹̍͜͜ͅͅͅͅͅN̶̨̢̢̢̢̧̡̧̡̧̨̨̨̢̨̢̡̨̢̧̨̛͇̳̟̪͕͈̣̞̦͙̣̰͈͕͎͙̼͍̰̠̹̹̪͎̠̮͍̼̟͖̭͇͎͎̟̟͈̫͓̞̹̥̻̹̹̠̥͉̞̯̘̲͈̱̯̘̺͖͎͖̭̼̭̟͖̗̹̼͓͍͓̰͍̣̲̟̗̫͍̥͎̘̘͉̫͓̣͇̮̩̮̹̞͈͕̬̟̣̥̲̣͖̠̖̼̪̜̮̣̫̖͚͕͓̝̬̱̮̺͚͓̣̯̪̯̫̖͙̜̠̠̜͚̝̲̖̹̱̭̦̬̝̝̯̫̦̟͕̬͖̙̹͍͓͔͓̜͕̤̟̱̬͎̱̦̹̲͔̗͚͈̣̹͚̗͍̹͍̲͔̝̰̫̬̻͎̞̈́̀̈́̒́͐̓͋́́͆͌̄̐̆̈͂̔̉͋̀̉̆̽̌̃̏̈́̔́͂̌̒̽̒͒͑̇̍͑̌̊̈̈̋́̅͌̆̒̈͑͆͊̒́̽̋͛̒̊̒̅̉̈́̎̀̄̃͒̈͆̈́͛̋̂̏̽̋͂̇̋̑͌̅̐̏̓̿̿̈́̽̊̐̐͌̽̎̀͊̐̊̀̏̏̈́͋́̇͗̒̓̃͛̓̔͌̉̍̌͌͌̇̽̐̑̈́̈́̔̑̈́̈̎̐̏́̎́̏̃̑̑͂̓͌̿̎͘̕̕̚̕̚͘̚͘̕̕͘̚͜͜͜͜͠͠͝͠͝͠͠͠͠͠͝͠͠͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅT̵̡̡̛̛̛̛͇͇̫̗̤͕̲͙͚̺̑̈́̍̀̂̿̽̾͛́̋̓̂͑̓͂̈́̾͑̓̈́͑̄͆̓̔̏̊͒̿͂̓̿̊͂͂̔̊̀͂̈̔̌̀̀̋̿́̌͗̕̚̚̚͠͝͝͝