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Unless your instance blocks or is blocked by that other instance, which is exactly what beehaw did to lemmy.world and sh.ithust.works, and exactly what I saw happen a lot on Mastodon.
Ultimately, yes, the server admins have final on what content their users see. Not too different than mods within a community. A user, should they want to, can just make an account on a different server though. Should the user not agree with the content moderation of their original server, and can even migrate all their user data with them most of the time.
AFAIK in ActivityPub everything has an ID (which is actually a URL) that ties an Object/Link to the server it was created on, old things will always live on your old server.