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this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2025
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Oh man. I remember the very small Castle Crashers vs. competitive scene on Xbox in 2008. I was 15th ranked in the world, and probably higher than that in actual skill.
I met a couple of really cool people on there. Most of us were about evenly matched, and a game could go either way.
But the number one player was this shit-talking child with a voice that could shatter glass. Normally I love shit-talkers in competitive scenes. I don't tilt easy, so I feel like I get an edge on them.
But not this banshee. I don't know if I ever even got a hit on him. I saw it as a challenge to overcome, but he just fucking wrecked me every time I saw him.
The gameplay in vs. was so crazy. Castle Crashers seems like a simple game, but with the right combos you could get airborne and never touch the ground. So most of the game was trying to get under your opponent so you could juggle them endlessly, back and forth across the screen. But you had to execute. It was tough to keep the combo going for long enough to beat someone in one go, and once you slipped up, they could do the same to you.
So my memory from that time was this shrill little fucker, gleefully shrieking about my mother while his brightly colored knight juggled mine back and forth across the top of the screen. Honestly kind of fitting for that game.