Former military person, fear mongers about magic evil of TikTok tech mining everything and sending it to the scary Chinese, says that FB does the same but also claims that somehow "we at least can keep tabs on what they're doing with your private data" (lol), while also admitting to still being on FB and using Google's services. Not at all suspicious and incoherent I'd say.

We discovered that the app embedded itself deep in your phone's hardware, granted itself full administrative access to your phone, then started trickling all your data to servers in China

Ok bud, that doesn't sound stupid AF at all. This random military IT sysadmin knows this but all other cyber security experts in the world have somehow missed this crucial bit of info. And for some reason, this info hasn't travelled up the chain through the intelligence agencies. Remarkable.