This is an old post i saved for this kind of moment so here ya go.

About 6 or 7 years ago my college roommate told me: Conversation isn’t something any one person is good or bad at, it’s a skill like anything else. Everything changed once I thought about it like this.

1. The more new people you talk to the easier it is. Especially the opposite sex.

2. Everyone else has their own anxieties and fears. They’re just better at hiding it or masking it than you. Use this to your advantage to point out things you have in common and relate to them.

3. When someone talks, LISTEN. Don’t worry about your posture, your dog, your clothing. Listen to them. If you don’t understand something, stop them and ask. Engage with them. Everyone you meet knows something you don’t know.

4. Ask open ended questions. Don’t ask, “Did you have a good day?” Instead ask “What was the best part about your day?” “What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about your job?” Make them feel important. Everyone loves to talk about themselves. So do you. Take that feeling and shove it way down. When they ask about you, that’s your turn to shine. If they don’t, you don’t really want to be friends anyway.

5. Never one-up people. Even if you are way better, or know way more than the person talking to you, build them up.

6. If someone is telling a story or saying something and they get cut off, find the next opportunity to bring them back in. “Hey, _______ you were talking about X, what did you want to say?”

7. Laugh at their jokes. Laugh at your jokes. We’re all weird brains walking around in these skin things. Don’t take it so seriously.

8. You will remember your mistakes WAY more than anyone else. Stop taking yourself so seriously.

9. My last and 2nd most important tip. Start every conversation with a compliment. I don’t care if they’re a dude and you’re straight as fuck. I don’t care if they’re mean, evil to you, or disagree with you politically in every way. Find something about the way they look, and compliment it. Someone did this to me once when I was a new guest at someone’s apartment. “Hey man, that’s an awesome jacket, where’d you get it?” I fucking loved that jacket. And I was self conscious about it. I felt instantly at home.

Take the things you like, and be that person for someone else. If you’re on a date, be genuinely interested in that person.

These are things that worked for me. Find your own style.

The #1 tip!! Go into EVERY room as if people will like you. Seriously. Walk through any door, in front of any group of people and smile. They. Will. Like you. Keep that in the front of your mind and you will enjoy conversations with anyone.