Update 2: At least Apple was kind enough to refund my money. I’m glad I learned my lesson the easy way. No more dating apps ever again for me!
Update: Thanks all for your overwhelming support. I really needed these words of comfort. Besides this, I live a very lonely isolated life and it's difficult to meet new people. Regardless of being very active, working out a lot and doing a lot of social activities. I will try to reply everything, but I have definitely read everything!
I’m 33M and last night I downloaded Tinder again after deleting it for the 100th time. In a few hours I got 16 likes, but not a match. So I decided to go ahead and pay for one week to see these matches. Literally all of them were fake accounts. Not a single one of these 16 were real.
I broke down in tears, because my dating life hasn’t really been good. As a POC it’s even more difficult. Then, as the idiot I am, I went ahead and spent money just to find out all of it is just a scam. I don’t know how to deal with this anymore. Meeting in real life is basically non existent in this day and age.
I’m just so over with life itself. My self esteem is completely down the gutter. I wish there was an easy and painless escape out of this life.
Let me preface This with saying:
preface
Single Culture is Not so Bad at all. I think a Lot of people get affected by our romanticizing culture without Realizing that before dating, you as a Person are more important than your Partner for now. A Partner can be but should Not be a Silver bullet for a persons Problems and your worth is Not determined by your partner. For example single Culture is actually starting to trend in Japan even..But of course that does Not mean everybody should be Single or that Nobody should Look for a Partner. I absolutely understand how damaging it can be to your self esteem to be Single and feel Like maybe something is wrong with you or maybe you are not worth loving at all. But that just is Not true. Maybe you Are just unlucky and thats all.
Honestly tinder might not be the best Place to Look for a Date. 💀
I cant give you an easy Solution but I can absolutely Tell you where you are wrong and that it is okay to be at the Place that you currently are at in life.
Unfortunately while you can Date it does not mean finding the Right Person is easy. If you want to Date you do you and feel free to try different things. If you want to find the Right Person then be Patient because your s/o tries to be on their way as fast as she can.
It is a pain yes, but focus on yourself more and try to do things that make you feel satisfaction and glee.
Maybe a last and actual tip is If you got peculiar hobbies maybe you can mingle with others who do have the Same hobby and if you are Lucky you might even find a cool gal whos into the same shit as you.
All This might Sound generic or stuff you already know yes, but the pain is very real. Cause I also know that in our minds we tend to make it a bigger deal than it should be.
To be blunt (respectfully): I am not saying you cant look for a partner and that you shouldnt do it but from your post I think you might have other issues and maybe without realizing you might not even be ready for a relationship. Thats Why I emphasize again: prioritize what gives you satisfaction yourself. I dont know where but Anyone can pull a partner. Most of the time its more of an issue whether you can keep a Person by your side. And if you do think you can dont be too impatient cause rushing things will not do Anyone Any favors.
I've had 2 partners in relationships of 7 years. I do get that relationships are often romanticized. I get everyone saying that 'single culture isn't bad', but that's only if it's by choice (really not trying to sound like some incel here). For intimacy or building a family, you definitely need two people. While it isn't the main reason I'm looking for a partner, it still matters. Perhaps I'll try to look for offline dating methods. But I don't feel like anyone does offline dating/meeting nowadays.
Thats just simply not true, also i think you Slip into These relationships more naturally. Also that number is a good one so idk how that is of any importance .
Also if you just Look for smth different than tinder:
Tap for spoiler
try hinge, that does seem better than most alternatives ig