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this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2025
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No Stupid Questions
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No such thing. Ask away!
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Most of the criticism of it I've seen is about how the concept's been warped to mean women aren't putting out enough for specific men. Other people will also point out that modern society is isolating in general. People who aren't men who are experiencing loneliness might have some skepticism about the idea it's a man specific issue.
There's also some wariness because topics about issues men face can translate for some men into a violent rage towards women. As seen with the involuntarily celibate movement.
People of all types can take genuine grievances and find a target to take it out on. Like income inequality translating to hatred of immigrants. And violence towards them. When you're the mistaken target of those grievances, it can be simplest to want to get away from the conversation unless the person starting it is clear they aren't targeting you.
Those are my guesses as to why people are skeptical.
https://www.npr.org/transcripts/1263527043 Some discussion in here about the topic, but also criticisms of the topic.
https://trinitonian.com/2025/02/14/unpacking-the-myth-of-the-male-loneliness-epidemic/ This opinion article criticizes how influencers drive the conversation, to its detriment.
https://www.fridaythings.com/recent-posts/male-lonliness-crisis-incel-men-friendship-mental-health This person brings up the idea that women are wary of the idea because it seems like they'll be expected to individually solve it regardless of their own wants and needs.
Thanks! There's not that many answers here to my question, just a lot of comments on the thing itself not about the criticism. So thanks for those sources.
It's difficult to discuss this issue, because loneliness is so personal. This all is.
I'm glad you asked the question and are trying to genuinely understand where critics are coming from. All of this (like, society) is a mess and we've all been hurt and it makes doing better a struggle because, how do you see anything past the pain from your own wounds?
When I was very young, my father would hit me for crying, so when I was a little older, hearing that little boys weren't supposed to cry just made me go "me neither." But (without justifying my father) understanding that he did it because society and his own parents fucked him up on this issue, and his parents were fucked up by their parents, makes it possible to envision a way things could be different.
Not everyone gets past that hurt, though. Like a young man abused by his mother dismissing the idea of misogyny. The statistics are just statistics. The memories of that pain are visceral and real.