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submitted 2 days ago by Quilotoa@lemmy.ca to c/til@lemmy.world
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[-] Vupware@lemmy.zip 17 points 2 days ago

I’m on the other side of the fence for this one.

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago
[-] ChairmanMeow@programming.dev 11 points 1 day ago

He's the neighbor.

[-] Vupware@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago

I’m not frustrated at being asked why I’m apologizing. Rather, I’m frustrated that it is the norm to apologize for things that you didn’t do.

You got me curious to find out which meaning of "sorry" came first, so I looked up its etymology.

The modern word came through Middle English, from an Old English word that meant "distressed, grieved, full of sorrow". The Proto-Germanic root before that had a meaning of "painful."

A meaning of "repentant, remorseful, contrite" was recorded circa 1200 AD.

The page also notes:

Simple sorry in an apologetic sense (short for I'm sorry) is suggested by 1834


Putting it all together, it seems people initially began saying "sorry" (or the word that would become it) to express that they were feeling some kind of "pain." At some point it started being used exclusively for emotional pain. Around 1200 AD, it picked up the sense of "remorseful." However, simply saying "sorry" to express that remorse wasn't a thing for another 600 or so years.

I'm no professional etymologist, and I only checked this one source, so I could very well be wrong. However, it sounds like the meaning of "feeling sorry" to mean feeling bad (which is what people mean when they say, "I feel sorry for you") predates using "I'm sorry" to express remorse over one's actions.

Note - this isn't intended to support nor sway anyone's opinion. Language changes, and there is no right or wrong to it. An older meaning isn't more or less valid than a newer meaning, especially when both meanings have already co-existed for centuries. I just find word history interesting and wanted to share what your comment inspired me to learn. ✌️

[-] Vupware@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 day ago

That’s super neat, thanks for sharing!

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

The norm is to offer sympathy. It's just the same word can be used for both.

[-] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago
[-] Vupware@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago

Because someone else’s misfortune is inherently not my responsibility. I can easily express sympathy in another way.

[-] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Why do you reject that sorry can be used to express sympathy without assuming responsibility?

[-] Vupware@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago

I was always raised to never say sorry after a car accident or in any scenario where police could be involved. I guess it’s just an extension of that being drilled into my head when I was young!

this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2025
656 points (100.0% liked)

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