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this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2025
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If you really want to stick it to the funeral industry, and you're including crematoriums and all other aspects in that, I think the only option is burial at sea.
Put it in your will that you want your friends and family to go on a deep-sea fishing cruise. Specify they must bring you along, and once they reach the approved and legal dumping location and have you naked and weighted so you sink, they can raise their glasses, make a toast, and pitch you over the side.
Meant to include this link:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burial_at_sea
Out of all the options, this one seems like the best to fulfill OPs intentions, although if you dont know someone with a boat, it does not make it cheaper.
Plus. funerals are for the living, not the dead. Some families may want more than GPS coordinates as a headstone (or they will need to put one elsewhere).
I personally would be fine with this disposal method for myself, assuming it was not too inconvienent or costly for others.
My family tends to be less concerned with our remains. My grandfather used to say that when he died we should just "jam a ham bone up my ass and let the dogs drag me away."
Never quite understood what the purpose of the ham bone up the ass was, but I don't judge. No kink-shaming.
Edit: I should add, we did not shove anything up his ass and let the dogs drag him away. He was cremated. His instructions were to proceed with the cremation immediately with no time for family to say goodbye. However, my grandmother and my father (only child) decided to ignore that. We met at the funeral home before the cremation and just sat in the room with him.
To this day, he's still the best looking dead person I've ever seen. He was dead, and he looked it, but he looked like himself. Just dead. He looked normal, not some plastic, uncanny-valley version of himself that someone thought he should look like.
That sounds like a good way to stick it to the funeral industry given that deep-sea fishing cruise is probably not cheap ๐
Probably not cheap, but it can be a fun time, and if you do it right, you can save money on chum.