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[-] TheSaddestMan@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

stop staring at my tits and see me as a person

I'm glad I've never been accused of this (okay, once but I wasn't even serious, more like "Wait, how do people react if you DO stare at them 'too long' instead of avoiding looking at them at all? Oh, they feel bad is what, that's not nice of me." ). Not that I actually do it, but that I'm really self-conscious about accidentally making people sexually uncomfortable.

I think the problem is sexually aggressive men often like sexually aggressive women. So the most lecherous don't understand because either they think "handsome and beautiful/sexy belong together" and therefore would WANT to have their (i.e.) crotch stared at by a woman they don't know (provided she looks "attractive") or they don't mind "ugly" but don't think of themselves as "not ugly" and otherwise think the same (liking being watched by a woman). That's a small enough part of the population that it has, in it's own way, become a minority ("Incels" deserve to be ridiculed, they just aren't common).

None of it is justified behavior, obviously. People don't like being stared at, how hard is it for a supposed "manly extrovert sex god" to realize that, when nerdy 16-year old introverted me understood a girl deserved an apology for my random "social experiment"? Respect must be mutual, and if anyone didn't say "yes" to actual physical contact, it's sexual assault. Unfortunately, even in nature (see: Ducks) there is nothing physically preventing rape, and so the struggle was inevitable the moment humans existed because - to some degree - genders and gender identities exist.

All I'm saying is, the culture wars are nothing but unwarranted posturing. From both/all sides. Be what and who you want. Oh, and fuck over that wealthy 1%, nobody can own 99% of the money and have obtained it by purely honest means.

[-] lath@piefed.social 2 points 1 day ago

Sadly, posturing is often a great motivator for poorly thought-out decisions.

Pushing through with a wrong decision regardless of the end result would be a matter of losing self worth, I think. Apologizing is often felt as a position of weakness that opens up a vulnerability in a pretty much shoddy armour of fragile self worth and losing even that much might trigger an existential crisis that threatens the core of one's identity.

Another part might be us not being wired to naturally consider long-term effects, as it's usually a taught trait. So much of our emotional presence is rooted in the moment rather than several steps ahead. And a psychological danger is often resolved with an immediate and superficial response.

To become and remain what is considered as well adjusted is a difficult process that needs repeated efforts of introspection. And not many can or are willing to go through the process. So being respectful of one another is something to be admired because it's not something we can do by default. I'd say instinctual and often disrespectful responses are our usual default state instead.

[-] TheSaddestMan@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 hours ago

Admittedly, I can understand playing the devil's advocate. Yeah, when they say "Eat the Rich", it's not supposed to be literal. And yeah, I've made mistakes as I've said, and haven't always owned mistakes.

this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2025
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