I was growing up. I really thought I believed, but never heard a response while praying like others did. Felt unworthy or that something was wrong with me. Later I was held down and had a demon exorcized out of me and that really started the break with my faith. I eventually couldn't deal with the awfulness of the world and how my own life developed despite my faith. Now I suffer from cptsd with strong links to my religious upbringing.