390
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] emmanuelw@jlai.lu 30 points 1 week ago

I'm a Christian pastor happily married to an atheist, AMA.

[-] Zwiebel@feddit.org 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Do you believe your wife will go to hell?

Is she agnostic or does she believe there is no god?

[-] emmanuelw@jlai.lu 36 points 1 week ago

Do you believe your wife will go to hell?

No. I don't believe in all that “you have to confess Jesus as your personal lord and saviour to avoid hell” crap. It's in fact something not very widespread outside evangelicalism. I believe the Cross is working mysteriously, far outside the frontier of the visible Church. A God who condemns people that doesn't recognize him is not a loving God, it's a pervert. I believe that “to confess Jesus as my personal lord and saviour” is a way to live a better life here and now, and I don't expect an eternal reward for that.

Is she agnostic or does she believe there is no god?

I'd say she's agnostic atheist. She doesn't know if God exist, but believes he does not, and in fact doesn't care.

[-] MacAnus@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 week ago

You sound like a very good person.
I think you get what I believe religion is supposed to be about.
And that's nice to see :) keep it up!

[-] squaresinger@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

In many christian traditions the "confess Jesus as savior" can also be done after this life when standing before Jesus, basically at the gates of heaven. At that point it's really just a formality, and doing that right now instead of in the next life is exactly what you describe what it means to you: a way to live a better life right now.

[-] Rhaedas@fedia.io 3 points 1 week ago

And to follow up, are you okay with that? If not, do you try to convince her to believe to save her? How does she feel about those efforts or lack of?

[-] notaviking@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

How did the marriage ceremony go, who officiated the marriage, was it a religious leader or another type of official. I am really curious because I want my Christian GF to have the wedding of her dreams and I am not sure how to approach the topic. I have no issues but I am scared a pastor or similar might have because I am atheist

[-] emmanuelw@jlai.lu 15 points 1 week ago

I live in France, where it's illegal to have a religious marriage without having a civil one first. As a pastor, I have to ask a proof that the people I religiously marries are already married civilly. I agree theologically with that, as protestants don't marry people, they bless an already existing marriage.

So we had both. To be honest, in France, civil marriages are quite dull: it takes 5 minutes, the mayor or their deputy reads the law, asks for consent, makes the people sign, and it's the next couple's turn. It's very administrative. There's a little decorum, but just a little.

So, even for people without strong belief, the ritual makes the marriage something special. It was the case for my spouse, at least. She's atheist, but she respects my faith, as I respect her atheism; she knew it was important for me, so that made it important for her.

I would warn you though: if your girlfriend is Catholic, you'll have yo promise to raise your children in the Catholic faith. If your girlfriend is evangelical, they may ask you to testify of your faith. I'd say to discuss this with her first very openly, and test the waters with her priest/pastor. 90% are cool people, with whom you'll be able to be open, and they won't refuse you as long as they don't sense that you opposes the whole thing. 10% are assholes; I'd advice you to look for an other one; if it's the one your girlfriend wants, lie to them (as long as your girlfriend agrees with that). You don't marry for the officiant, you owe them nothing.

[-] Zwiebel@feddit.org 5 points 1 week ago

I've seen a pastor hold a nice opening without any direct religious references

[-] emmanuelw@jlai.lu 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

That I could do, if it made sense in the context.

[-] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 week ago

Were you both Christian and your partner fell out of it?

[-] emmanuelw@jlai.lu 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

No, she never was Christian, nor anything else for that matter.

this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2025
390 points (100.0% liked)

Comic Strips

18521 readers
1090 users here now

Comic Strips is a community for those who love comic stories.

The rules are simple:

Web of links

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS