Similar for me.

I understand I'm born male and I also enjoy very heterosexual life, but I don't really express lots of masculine traits. It just doesn't fit my personality. Also imagining myself as a woman is kinda nice, but I also don't really have a strong desire to go down that route and I feel like in some ways I'm more myself when I just don't think about the concept of gender and think more about what is me.

There will be a day where I will proudly wear skirts outside but I don't have one to fit my size and it probably wouldn't look good on me right now. But I will get there and I'm in no rush, life is a fever dream anyway.

So can I relate? Hell yeah. It's probably a bit different to you but when you're not necessarily fitting in anyway it's easier to come to realize who you are and start searching for how you wanna look and who you wanna be. Just don't force yourself. If you wanna wear a skirt, try it out. If you wanna put on make up, try it (one of my friends literally gifted me some).

Fuck everything, we're on a big rock in space fired upon by sub lethal rays and people pretend to do something and be someone every day even though everyone's just winging it. No one is wise to their identity, some people are complacent or ignorant, but as long as you feel kinda good today, then you did something for yourself :)