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Why incels take the “Blackpill”—and why we should care
(arstechnica.com)
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this post was submitted on 31 May 2025
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The term "incel" doesn't really make sense. It's not involuntary, by any definition of the word that I've seen.
Almost anyone can find a partner simply through effort. Diet, exercise, hygiene, etiquette, dressing nicely, socializing, actively seeking a partner. Notice something about that list? Pretty much everyone can do those things. It's just a matter of effort.
Yes, there are some exceptions, for example from people with severe disability, but those people rarely call themselves "incels." The majority are people who are perfectly capable of doing these things.
If you don't practice basketball and you don't even go to the tryouts, you don't get to say that your not making the team was "involuntary."
I notice a severe lack of ‘working on self and mental health’ amongst other really important things that were missed in that incredibly short list. Which is the central problem with an Incel. It’s a central problem with many things.
Also just finding someone isn’t an instant sign of successful in relationships. There are plenty of dysfunctional relationships that are evidence that a person might even be more healthier alone and working on self in order to set standards on finding better relationships than just be in such a relationship all just to avoid being labelled involuntary celibate.
Personally I always disliked the word Incel as a stand-in for antisocial personality disorder. Cuz really that is what it is. Sex or no sex. They have the same attitude even if they were getting some. They just complain about the lack of sex (or have poor view about women in general) cuz that’s the only symptom they usually notice and come up against that might be hinting there is a deeper problem with themselves.
You missed something important in that list, in typical incel fashion.
The bit you've missed off your strange list is being someone a woman would want to be around. Incel fits perfectly because they think they should just get women with no effort whatsoever.