Ultimately they have to feel good and safe and peaceful enough that they stop acting out.

They need a hug and to feel safe enough to be vulnerable. The identity of masculinity, the prohibition of displaying or feeling any emotion (other than anger), maybe is what contributes to people being underdeveloped husks. They're empty shells and the way they didn't learn to deal with emotions. Lashing out and compensating by "having" (things, people, being feared ['respect' to them]) because it makes them feel powerful. But real power is knowing who you are, being able to connect with yourself and others. They're not allowed that, though. Connection requires being vulnerable and having a strong enough sense of self to not be threatened by that.