I'm very lonely and live thousands of kilometres from home, the only person I have in my daily life is one friend. lately he's been pretty obsessed with this girl and we haven't been talking so much because of it so I thought it would be the perfect time to through with it since I had a lot of alone time. I won't go into detail about what happened next but I do recall coming-to and him knowing I was depressed and not hearing from me for days he had decided to check up on me and see how I'm doing. when I explained to him what happened he broke down into tears and it's the only time I've seen him cry in the 7 years I've known him. I'm just shocked, I always wondered firsthand how people would feel if I did it and now I think I know. my family is really far away so they probably won't ever know this happened but I just don't know how to feel. I'm tired of feeling so much pain but I also take other emotions into account now, no antidepressants or therapists have ever been enough to heal the damage of a fucked up life. just don't know how to feel.