cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/26365993
I'm the quiet, introverted one and I may be on the spectrum. I like to do my job and go home. I hate drama and drama queens and ignore people when they start gossiping. Many extroverts find that offensive and talk behind my back like teenagers do. This stupid drama is the only reason why I quit my job after finding a new one.
I agreed to stay 4 weeks with the company because some coworkers are actually grown ups, it is a breeze to work with them and I can use their experience to be a better professional.
Back to the immature ones: Past me would ignore their sarcastic and passive aggressive comments, which took a toll on me but now I have nothing to lose and I couldn't care less what they think of me, meaning I started to answer back using their same tone and so sarcastically and passive aggressively as them: they yell at me accusing of doing something on purpose, I politely tell them to calm down and to seek help.
Most of my coworkers are women. Since I started answering back and being a jerk, they toned their b%tchiness way down, it is more pleasant to work here now.
I don't understand why my coworkers treat me with some respect now that I'm being a jerk and I hate I have to be a jerk to be treated with a modicum of respect. I don't know if I'm wrong but I think they have an idea of what a man is supposed to be and now that I fit their definition of a man, they leave me alone because they see in me something familiar to them.
I find it sad I have to be an ass to be treated with respect and I hope to find a workplace where I can be myself and work with no drama.
Is this something that's going to happen no matter where I work?
thanks for answering.
I guess I could play a small social experiment and see how people react before I change workplaces and decide if I can and want to keep placating people this way?
Notice that I get along with some coworkers. With these ones I don’t need to play theatrics. It’s the loud, yelling ones with no boundaries the ones that grind my gears and make me want to run for life.
I definitely feel your pain with the loud, no boundaries ones, they can be exhausting if you either don't or can't manage them efficiently. That's where I found that engaging on my terms at times that gave natural reasons to break off helped. I found most people were a lot less likely to dump if I was 'in' the group, but just seemed busy/preoccupied, rather than when I was 'out' of the group.
Think of it this way, being able to socially interact with your team in a normal work environment is a useful skill, and like any skill you only get better at it by practising. It might be hard work initially, but you've got a great opportunity right now, so go for it. It's no great loss if it doesn't go smoothly, you're heading for the door anyway.
Good luck, and remember, if it all gets too much, you need to go, you've got to have that report on your boss's desk by the end of business today.