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Friends who have babies
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2025
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It’s all a bit of a cope, deep down there is this primal call that isn’t easily shrugged off. Well for some at least. I know that it will get stronger for me and stronger with each year.
I am not saying the purpose of humans nowadays is to make children nor that we should be reduced to such concepts but… it’s not easy to escape millions of years of evolution. It is definitely going against everything that screams "multiply" deep down and that will take mental health toll
I want us to go beyond this but it’s been a blink in the history, no one had time to accommodate to 21 century yet, it will take generations of turmoil and natural selection for new Homo sapiens sapiens novus to emerge
The only primal call I have is to fuck. I could not care less about actually having a kid as a result. If anything seeing how having kids has affected my friends ability to do so has made me want them even less.
That's how the instinct works for guys. Then you have a little person to protect and it changes
No thanks. I'll watch out for other people's kids if I'm around them but I don't want to revolve my life around it.
Yup. Imagine a portable hype beast that loves all the same stuff you do.
It's insane that we're tied down to instincts when we believe ourselves so rational and sophisticated.
But funnily enough, I don't have that instinct? I'm more than happy to be an uncle and that's as far as the train goes for me. I can't see myself waking up with a child on my mind. So mad respect for those who commit and become wonderful parents. I think it takes a special kind of resilience that needs to be awakened when you're expecting. Props for those who embrace it.
As a parent to a little one right now... I can say that I rarely felt the "drive" to have kids. My SO was really let down that my initial reaction was anxiety over finances, for example.
That said, I don't know if anything else could ever give me the kind of joy and happiness that just being able to love on my kid has brought me. If something happened to her I would be devastated.
But I also recognize that I've had to sacrifice a lot of personal freedom to be a good dad. I would never downplay that to "trick" people into wanting to be parents. It's definitely a tradeoff, and especially difficult financially these days.