my 50 watt lightbulb will run for an absurd number of years when hooked up to a nuclear generator and will be completely vaporized by the nuclear bomb.

That is true whether you express the energy as kWh or MJ.

Also keep in mind your average person likely doesn’t remember their physics classes and how joules, time, and watts all relate to each other

It's becoming clear to me that you don't either. KW is not the same as kWh, the latter does not have a time component anymore despite the name. Watt is the amount of joules per second. kWh is the amount of energy spend it you use 1KW for an hour regardless of the time that amount of energy is spend in similar to how a lightyear is the distance that light travels in a year regardless of how long you take to travel that far.