I was with a man for four years and thought we were going to get married. He was a widower and I fell in love for the first time. When I found out he was cheating, it killed me. I felt my whole self die.

I miss myself. I wake up every day and go through the motions, even try to date here and there, but at the end of the day I am a soulless husk of a person. I've tried focusing on myself - losing weight, exercising, rejuvenating old hobbies, lots and lots of therapy and meds. Nothing helps. At this point I'm only living because I have three pets who rely on me.

I still don't understand why I deserved that. I guess this is just as good as life gets for someone like me.