It's a series of choices, but those choices can be misguided or wrong without maintaining communication with the group. It also easily slips into the "white savior" trope.

Imagine a person calling themselves a queer ally while actively protesting "LGB without the T". They are absolutely NOT an ally to the queer community, but without checking in with queer people, they wouldn't know. Queer people then have to argue with "an ally" to get them to understand why that rhetoric is harmful, which just puts everyone further back.

So, people can call themselves allies, but no one should believe it unless it's been attributed to them by the group they're allied with.

Drag thinks you've misunderstood the post. The post says you earn the title of ally through your actions. It doesn't say you earn it through someone else's actions. Your actions are your choices. Someone else calling you an ally isn't your action, it's theirs. So the post is not saying that queer people bestow the title on you, it's saying you bestow it on yourself. By doing good things.

Taking that idea and making it about how people can self-identify as allies regardless of their actions is incredibly distasteful.

So you're saying that OP could choose to identify as your significant other, and it would be entirely OP's decision with none of your input?

True