I just watched a commercial where a bear comes home from school, and his mom is like hold on there, let me look at your asshole. And sure enough he had chunks of toilet paper on it because he had used inferior toilet paper. And she was like nah bro, you need to go wipe with this family's preferred toilet paper, which does not leave chunks of paper on your asshole.

And in that moment, I understood where the Unabomber was coming from.