148
submitted 4 weeks ago by Emi@ani.social to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

As a shut in with social anxiety and very introverted I'm wondering how to find friends now that I got better. Basically starting from zero since I know nobody in my city so I'm wondering if someone has some experience with finding friends as lonely anxious introvert and just how other people find friends.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] agavaa@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

I made friends with people I work with.

[-] Kit 5 points 3 weeks ago

That is a horrible idea. You should always keep your work and personal life separate.

[-] dgbbad@lemmy.zip 6 points 3 weeks ago

This is dumb as hell. Why wouldn't you want to be make friends with the people you are going to be spending nearly a third of your time with?

[-] Kit 5 points 3 weeks ago

Work friendships can get messy. Conflicts, promotions, or job changes can strain the relationship and create awkwardness or lead to unfair situations. Additionally, you never want to give your coworkers dirt that they can use against you. It’s safer to keep things professional and make friends outside of work.

[-] dgbbad@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 weeks ago

It's safer to not do a lot of stuff. Soooo many things everyone does every day "can get messy." But I'll be damned if I spend a third of my life being a work robot. Granted, I'm not in a cut-throat, dog eat dog work environment like I imagine a lot of folks are, but it's bad blanket advice to say don't make friends at work. I work with two other guys, we all do the same thing, we all have similar interests, and we would all be super stoked for each other if any of us got a promotion.

Good advice: Just use your brain. Yeah, if that bitch Carol from accounting is gunning for the same position as you, probably don't tell her how hard you were partying last weekend with the bosses daughter. But if Dave from IT is talking about that super sweet video game you've also been playing, get in there and have a fun chat with Dave. Get his screen name. Kill some zombies with Dave.

Just pay attention, read the room, and think before you speak. You can definitely have work friends in any work environment if you don't make dumb decisions.

[-] agavaa@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

I have no idea what you're talking about. I resolve conflicts as they appear, personal or work related, they are a part of any relationship. Promotions - I am a dev, not sure what promotions would be relevant, and how that would be a problem. Job changes - many of my friends that I've made at work through the years changed jobs and we're still friends - I don't see a problem here either? And what dirt? How would they use it? If I told them I am tired lately, they would told the boss that I am slacking or something? And the boss would probably just think they are a weirdo to keep eye on? Maybe you work in a very toxic environment, I have never had any issues.

[-] revdrnegative@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

I agree, while I'm super chummy with my work mates and love them to death. I would never in a million years hang out with any of them..

[-] Maxxie 2 points 3 weeks ago

Same. I've been having a blast for the last year with three other ppl from work: we go for coffees, play board games every two weeks, chat in messages.

Haven't been so happy with my social life since, like, ever.

this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2024
148 points (100.0% liked)

Ask Lemmy

27240 readers
2063 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS