Nobody. Everytime I've reached out in the past has never worked out. Haven't gone outside in about 5 years. I go to therapy, but 1 hour a month isn't enough to even scratch the surface of what I'm dealing with let alone anything new that happened between visits. I feel like a burden to my girlfriend and family (dont even have much of that left anymore.) And I'm too far gone at this point to make friends. If they won't invite me to game night over steam, why would I think they'd let me trauma dump on them or cry on their shoulder? Even typing this comment feels like a pointless cry for attention.

"We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. The martyrs go hand in hand into the arena; they are crucified alone. Embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies into a single self-transcendence; in vain. By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Sensations, feelings, insights, fancies—all these are private and, except through symbols and at second hand, incommunicable. We can pool information about experiences, but never the experiences themselves. From family to nation, every human group is a society of island universes."

• Aldous Huxley